yOU CAN ASK A MAN TO DESCRIBE HIS IDEAL WOMAN AND HE WILL LIKELY SPIT OUT THE MOST VIVID AND DETAILED DESCRIPTION. USUALLY, NATURAL HAIR IS NOT MENTIONED. THIS COULD BE WHY SO MANY WOMEN ARE SO APPREHENSIVE TO GO NATURAL; MANY FEAR THAT THEIR LOVERS WILL HATE THEIR NEW ‘DO. WITH THAT BEING SAID, SHOULD A WOMAN GET HER SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S APPROVAL BEFORE DOING THE BIG CHOP?

I MUST SAY THAT I AM ON THE FENCE WITH THIS ISSUE WHEN IT COMES TO COUPLES WHO ARE MARRIED. A PART OF ME THINKS YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR HAIR BUT THE OTHER HALF OF ME BELIEVES YOU SHOULD NOT DO SOMETHING THAT WILL GO AGAINST YOUR SPOUSE’S WISHES. OF COURSE, YOU WANT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER TO FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE BUT IF GOING NATURAL IS SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANT TO DO, WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW ANYONE TO STOP YOU? NOW, I DO BELIEVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION SHOULD BE HAD. AFTER ALL, IT IS SUCH A DRASTIC CHANGE. I DON’T THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO JUST SHOW UP ONE DAY WITH A TWA (TEEN WEENY AFRO) AFTER HAVING STRAIGHT, RELAXED HAIR SINCE THE DAY Y’ALL MET. THAT WOULD BE A HARD PILL FOR MOST MEN TO SWALLOW.

Women with natural hair

THERE ARE SEVERAL MEN WHO WOULD IMMEDIATELY REJECT THE NOTION OF HIS PARTNER GOING NATURAL SIMPLY BECAUSE HE HAS NEVER SEEN A NATURAL WOMAN THAT HE COULD SEE HIMSELF DATING. I BELIEVE WHEN MANY PEOPLE HEAR THE WORD “NATURAL” THEY IMMEDIATELY THINK OF NAPPY, WILD AND UNRULY HAIR. BECAUSE OF THIS, MANY GUYS MAY BE SCARED THAT HIS ONCE ATTRACTIVE WIFE WILL NOW LOOK LIKE BUCK WHEAT. SO SHOULD YOU STEP OUT ON A LIMB DESPITE HIS HESITATIONS? IF YOUR MAN HAS YET TO “PUT A RING ON IT”, I SAY GO FORWARD WITH THE PROCESS AND HE WILL HAVE TO CATCH UP LATER BUT IF YOU ARE MARRIED, TRY TO EASE HIM INTO THE IDEA. I THINK MOST PEOPLE HAVE TO SEE THE END RESULT OF THE NATURAL PROCESS. IF MEN KNEW HOW INCREDIBLE THEIR WIVES WERE GOING TO LOOK NATURALLY, THERE WOULD BE NO RESISTANCE ON THEIR END. I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED TO FIND OUT HOW MANY WOMEN’S BOYFRIENDS THREATENED TO BREAK UP WITH THEM IF THEY WENT NATURAL. THEY SAY, “IT’S JUST HAIR” BUT APPARENTLY MANY FELLAS DON’T FEEL THAT WAY.

MY ADVICE TO WOMEN WHO HAVE SPOUSES THAT ARE NOT ON BOARD WITH THEIR DECISION TO GO NATURAL IS TO SHOW HIM VIDEOS OF BEAUTIFUL NATURAL WOMEN, SHARE WITH HIM HOW YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR MINDSET. ALSO, SHARE WITH HIM YOUR REASONS FOR WANTING TO GO NATURAL. BE SINCERE AND HONEST. I BELIEVE A GOOD HUBBY WILL SUPPORT HIS WIFE IN HER DECISIONS IF IT IS IMPORTANT TO HER AND IT DOES NOT NEGATIVELY AFFECT HER OR THEIR FAMILY. THE KEY IS TO OPENLY COMMUNICATE AND COMPROMISE. SOMETIMES, YOU MAY HAVE TO BARGAIN WITH YOUR LOVER. YOU CAN PROPOSE TO GO THROUGH THE TRANSITION PROCESS, GROW YOUR HAIR OUT FOR AT LEAST A YEAR OR TWO AND IF HE STILL ISN’T ON BOARD MAYBE YOU WILL THINK ABOUT GOING BACK TO STRAIGHT HAIR. BUT I BELIEVE IF ONE OF YOUR ARGUMENTS FOR NOT CONTINUING TO RELAX YOUR HAIR IS TO PREVENT ANY HEALTH CONDITIONS FROM OCCURRING DUE TO THE TOXIC CHEMICALS FOUND IN RELAXERS, IT WILL BE EXTREMELY HARD FOR HIM TO OPPOSE. JUST REMEMBER, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR HUSBAND’S FEELINGS AND TRY NOT TO GET A DIVORCE DURING YOUR JOURNEY TO NATURAL HAIR:)

Advertisements